i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
