It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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