the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
