I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
