Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
