To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
