honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
