sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
