At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
