hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
