gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
