I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
