Rock
Scissors
Fuck
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
