Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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