Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Shame - the story of my life.
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