Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
