I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
