Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
