I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
so much tequila, so little girl.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
