I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
