I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
