Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
it's great music for shaving your balls
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
