Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
