Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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