the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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