He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
