i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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