Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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