i need an iv and a liver transplant
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
