I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
