My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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