She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize