that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
