CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
