i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
