I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
