loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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