If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
