I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Randomize
