I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize