and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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