porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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