from now on my penis is your penis
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
