woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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