I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
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