If i come over, it means nothing
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
