yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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