1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
