There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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