I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
