I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
