Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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