North Korea, Best Korea!
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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