I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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