Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Ladies don't puke and tell
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
