Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Sext me about skeletons
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize