don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Im part way to drunk.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
