I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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