My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
