Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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