Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
