I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
