I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
