tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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